Chasing numbers had become an obligation before I knew it. About three months after launch, I found myself sighing quietly every time I opened the dashboard. Every morning with coffee in hand, I'd check the session count, and if it hadn't increased from yesterday, my mood would sink a little. Before I realized it, this routine had taken hold, and the analytics screen had become a mirror that thrust "things not going well" in my face. This isn't a story of failure or success, but rather about a very small incident that happened one night. The fact that someone whose name and face I don't know is using something I created right now—how much strength that gives to lonely nights of development. I'm writing this because I want to reach out a little to those doing personal projects. There's almost no technical talk here. I simply want to record what I felt as a creator, in words that match my actual size.
Until the Analytics Screen Became a Habit
When I first started personal development, I barely used access analytics tools. With the feeling of "let's just release it first," I published it and continued creating for a while relying only on intuition.
That changed when a developer I knew told me, "It's good to check DAU every day." This person ran multiple services and was skilled at quickly finding improvement points from the movement of numbers. Right after getting that advice, I installed a measurement tool and created a habit of checking it every morning.
At first, it was fun. When the graph was going up and to the right, I'd gaze at the screen thinking, "Numbers really are honest." But when the growth stopped, checking became gradually more tedious.
Seeing Numbers I Didn't Want to See
The problem was seeing them even though I didn't want to. Even if I thought, "I'm tired today, so I'll skip checking," I'd find myself opening the browser tab before I knew it. I was curious about the numbers—but I already knew they hadn't increased, and I was afraid to look. That cycle continued for a while.
The analytics screen wasn't doing anything wrong. It was just displaying facts. But for me at that time, that screen had become a place that made "what was lacking" visible.
When I Was About to Close the Dashboard
That night wasn't special. There was no deadline, no new feature release, just an ordinary weeknight. Around the time the date changed, I opened the dashboard for no particular reason, confirmed that the numbers hadn't changed much, and was about to close the tab thinking, "I'll check again tomorrow."
Just before closing, something caught my eye.
The real-time user count showed "1."
A Session at 12:17 AM
The time was 12:17 AM. At the moment I thought "today is over," someone was opening my service.
I don't know their name. I don't know where they live, why they accessed it, or anything else. But the real-time "1" was glowing quietly on the screen.
I couldn't take my eyes off that screen for a while. Watching the page movement, it seemed like the person had opened the top page, moved to the list page, and checked several detail pages. After about three minutes, the session ended and the number returned to "0."
What I Hadn't Noticed Until Then
Until that night, I had been viewing "session count" as a kind of abstract metric. A number on a graph. Good if it goes up, bad if it goes down. But the real-time display of "1" taught me that it wasn't an abstract metric at all, but a concrete fact: "at this very moment, a living person is opening something I created."
When you look at it monthly, hundreds or thousands of sessions are, when you trace them back, all accumulations of "1"—someone accessing from somewhere at some time. I understood that intellectually, but seeing it in real-time was completely different in how I received it.
Another Face of Lonely Development
The loneliness of personal development is discussed in many places. No one to review your work, no feedback comes, you can't tell how people are reacting—. I've experienced that kind of loneliness too.
But on that night when I saw "1 at 12:17," I realized that loneliness has another face. Not the feeling of "no one is using this," but "someone is using this, but I can't see it." It's being used, but the warmth doesn't reach me. That sense of disconnect might have been wearing on me gradually.
The Next Day, I Fixed That Page
That night's "1" had opened several detail pages, but the movement had stopped at a particular page and didn't progress further. By intuition, I thought, "Maybe they were looking for information but couldn't find it."
The next day, I reviewed the structure of that page. I changed the order of information and added one more pathway to frequently used features. The change was small, but the flow afterward changed slightly. It wasn't being pushed by the graph, but rather my first improvement based on "someone's behavior." It was decisively different from my previous motivation of "wanting to improve the slope of the graph."
I Changed How I Faced the Analytics Screen
Since that night, my reason for opening the analytics screen has changed.
Before, I opened it to confirm "whether it increased from yesterday." But now, I make sure to take time somewhere in the day to gaze at the real-time user count. Whether it's 11 PM or lunch break, I quietly follow the movement when someone is accessing.
Not whether the numbers are increasing, but time spent opening the screen just to confirm "someone is here right now." Just that alone changed my impression of the screen quite a bit.
Reading as "People" Rather Than "Metrics"
When you're doing personal development, numbers are both a strong ally and a cruel mirror. Especially during periods of slow growth, every time you open the dashboard, you can feel like "maybe I'm not trying hard enough." I myself fell into that trap.
But behind the numbers, there are always people. If there are hundreds of sessions a month, that many people opened my service for some reason. If you forget that fact and only look at the slope of the graph, you'll miss something important.
When you switch from "viewing metrics" to "reading people's movements," the analytics screen starts to look like a different place.
As a Place to Open on Tired Nights
Even now, there are nights when effort doesn't pay off. I add a feature but get no response, I promote it but it doesn't spread—on those nights, opening the analytics screen used to make me feel "I guess it's no good."
But now it's a little different. Whether the real-time number is "1" or "2," it means someone is there. Even if it's zero, the movements of someone from yesterday or last week quietly remain on the graph. I think the analytics screen can, depending on how you use it, become "a place that eases loneliness."
I still don't know what kind of person that person at 12:17 was. I don't know if the experience was good, or if they came back. But I do remember seeing that "1" that night.
When you continue personal development, the question "is this helping anyone?" flickers through your mind at unexpected moments. When you can't see the answer, it becomes hard to continue. But the real-time dashboard has hints quietly lined up. Someone here right now. Someone opening a page, reading it, trying to move forward.
Rather than using numbers only as a measure of "whether it's growing," read them as proof that "someone came here today too." Just that alone changes the meaning of the screen a little.
When you open the analytics screen on a tired night, try to imagine for a moment the faceless someone on the other side of the graph. There might be more than one reason why that person is using your service, but at least in that moment, something you created is in someone's hands—that's the truth.
Just continuing to develop is already amazing enough, I think.
Lily（@bokuwalily）― Personal developer. Creating iOS apps and web services in tandem with AI
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Lily（@bokuwalily）― After leading a marketing organization of 50 people as CMO, I now create iOS apps and web services individually. I consult on customer acquisition, user flow design, and AI implementation and business automation
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